New to El Secundo Lifo? Heard about the low-life morons who prostitute their brains for 1L$? Wondering how to deal with these bellends? Looking for SecondLife friends and afraid you'll befriend a jeb? Dr S. Cooljoke (Oxbridge of course) is here to help you, if you don't like my advice then you're either a Linden or a complete bell.
So let's begin small shall we nublets? While meandering your way through the sometimes daunting experience that is SecondLife you may have what I like to call "a random encounter". Not the kind you have with a Chinese tourist who needs a cameraman but a SecondLife El Avatar that has decided to throw a comment your way for no "at first" apparent reason.
SC's Awesome Example 01 - [21:37] Daniele Redstar: strip off this bitch...
Why? Why would someone say this to me? Do they genuinally want me to strip? Am I a bitch? No friends this has happened for two possible reasons. 1. The person in question has accidentally typed in open chat instead of IM, this can have embarrassing albeit hilarious consequences. 2. The subject believes they are higher up in the SL social strata than I am, WRONG!
How to deal with it? Ignore it, unless it's a blatant insult at you then either report or in the cases of you funlovers give them a good bit of verbal diahorrea.
But what happens when you call out someone being a twat and another person shouts at YOU! Well let's look at SC's awesome example first off.
SC's awesome example 02 -
[10:03] Eagle Laszlo: Los!
[10:03] Eagle Laszlo: Los!
[10:03] Eagle Laszlo: Los Vanjeles!
[10:03] Eagle Laszlo: LOS VANJELES!
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo: Los!
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo: Los!
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo: Los Vanjeles!
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo: LOS VANJELES! (This had occurred over 15 times)
[10:04] You: ::You SHUT your mouth when you're talking to me!!!:: (A harmless response)
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo: nigg what (blatant racism, bad start for the bellend)
[10:04] You: ...Should I tell people...
[10:04] You: ...That I am good at sex?...
[10:04] Eagle Laszlo spits (now he's getting physical!)
[10:05] Gryff McCallen: alrighty now.... cut it out (thankfully an ally...)
[10:05] You: what the heck
[10:05] Gryff McCallen: Don't insult people here, please.... it can lead to that... (OR NOT!)
[10:06] You: lol
[10:06] You: i wasnt insulting him
[10:06] Gryff McCallen: the whole "shut your mouth" sound was
[10:06] You: that was an accident
[10:06] You: didnt even know i had it (blaters lying but we both knew that)
[10:06] Gryff McCallen: ahuh... heard that before.
[10:06] Gryff McCallen: look... just dont do it again
[10:06] Gryff McCallen: mmkay? (who is this guy?)
[10:07] You: lol
[10:07] You: im not gonna argue bout it i didnt do nething wrong so i wont do nethin wrong agen lol
[10:07] Gryff McCallen: right (<---this one word answer generally means you are intelligent)
So who turned out to be the bigger bellend, Mr Lazlo or Mr McCallen, you decide. But in this situation fellas all you can do is stick up for yourself or tp in your friends list and go to work on them. If you're outnumbered, add some randoms as friends (this will be covered in a later post about how to befriend strangers with lies.)
OK, so what happens when you meet the most low down cock knocking cat rapers of them all? These are the guys who like to IM you out of the blue trying to convince you your SL or RL partner is cheating on you with them, why do they do this? Who knows...too much wanking fucks you up.
SC's Awesome Example 03 -
This is how it will usually begin...play it cool guys, don't let them think you believe it.
[20:08] Sal Cooljoke: excuse me, who do you think you are talking to **** like that?
[20:08] Freaky Clip: im her secret lover, oh she didnt tell you?
[20:08] Sal Cooljoke: no she didnt
[20:09] Sal Cooljoke: what you have some proof of this i presume
[20:09] Freaky Clip: maybe cuz its secret?
[20:09] Freaky Clip: :_)
[20:09] Sal Cooljoke: lol yeah
[20:09] Sal Cooljoke: go on prove it...dare ya ;)
They will occasionally throw in comments like this...
[20:13] Freaky Clip: wait, im talkin to your GF...
[20:10] Freaky Clip: you should tell your GF to stop flirting with me tho
[20:14] Freaky Clip: hey, put a collar on your girl.. maybe you will have control of her one day
[20:14] Freaky Clip: :)
Now start your attack with subtle insults...
[20:26] Sal Cooljoke: ure crayon looking av just turns me on to no end
And how it unfolds...
[20:26] Freaky Clip: lol!
[20:27] Freaky Clip: they say that you always stare between guys legs when you talk to them
[20:27] Freaky Clip: :D
[20:27] Sal Cooljoke: you can look forward to being the newest thing on my blog...can we make this an official interview?
[20:27] Freaky Clip: lol sure
[20:27] Sal Cooljoke: ok...so srsly...homosexuals on sl, whats it like?
[20:27] Freaky Clip: i dont take things so seriously, i have a 1st life you know :)
[20:27] Sal Cooljoke: dont we all young man dont we all
[20:28] Sal Cooljoke: you know for a first life mentor ure a pretty big shit stirrer on sl
[20:29] Freaky Clip: damn still looking in my profile you sneaky dick lover :)
[20:29] Sal Cooljoke: BUSTED!
[20:29] Sal Cooljoke: you got me
[20:30] Freaky Clip: Sal leave your girl @ home and il get you new chicks
[20:30] Freaky Clip: you need to change i think
[20:30] Sal Cooljoke: why
[20:30] Freaky Clip: you turned to gay
[20:31] Freaky Clip: we need to do something about it
[20:31] Sal Cooljoke: maybe elsa is a man in rl
[20:31] Sal Cooljoke: did you consider this?
[20:31] Freaky Clip: lool
[20:31] Freaky Clip: sorry but im away now :)
[20:31] Sal Cooljoke: lol go cry
[20:31] Sal Cooljoke: heres a tissue
So don't be afraid to insult people, just keep it subtle and play your cards close to your chest. And if people give you shit, drop your kaks and shit on them twice as much, if all else fails IM myself or Elsa Weatherwax, we're both professionals, myself having been banned uncountable times and Elsa having received death threats. We've also impersonated the SL Police in the past so if you need someone scaring drop us a line. Until next time dickheads.
Sir Dr Mr Cooljoke.
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